If your computer monitor is looking bland, why not give some stickers to a friend so that they can decorate it with constellations or other interesting designs.
Friday, 29 August 2008
*Handy Hint of the Day*
If your computer monitor is looking bland, why not give some stickers to a friend so that they can decorate it with constellations or other interesting designs.
Peanut Butter and Jam
Today i tried peanut butter and raspberry jam. Unfortunately it wasn't as good as peanut butter and blackcurrant jam. Now i have a jar of raspberry jam that i probably won't use. Maybe i'll make a Victoria sponge... although, i wonder, do i have enough flour?
Poll Results
What do you think about something controversial and topical?
30% of you think it's a disgrace
30% of you agree with the notion, but not the method
and 33% believe that it's about time.
I think this is quite telling, and it really makes you think.
30% of you think it's a disgrace
30% of you agree with the notion, but not the method
and 33% believe that it's about time.
I think this is quite telling, and it really makes you think.
Response to Reader
This post is a response to an email we received from a reader with concerns (and anger issues) about the inconsistent nature of our posting frequency.
------------------
Dear Angry Subscriber,
Thank you for taking time out of your obviously busy day to email us. As you know, we are always pleased to receive feedback from our readers.
I would like to address your concerns using bullet points, and have done so below:
I would also add as a post script, that you are not the only member of our readership, as you can see from all the comments we receive, we have a large and varied following, albeit slightly mental.
------------------
Dear Angry Subscriber,
Thank you for taking time out of your obviously busy day to email us. As you know, we are always pleased to receive feedback from our readers.
I would like to address your concerns using bullet points, and have done so below:
- 'What sort of blog is this?' - it is intended to be an informative and topical blog, covering the many issues we feel people should be concerned with, however, as you may have already deduced from the title of the blog, it is not supposed to be interesting.
- Lack of posts today - if you would care to press the 'refresh' button (alternatively pressing the F5 key works on most browsers) you will see that there have been posts made today. If you would also care to scroll down the page using your mouse wheel (alternatively pressing the down arrow on your keyboard, or making sure that the num lock is not active and pressing the number '2' key on your numberpad) you will see that none of the many posts yesterday were made until after 12.00pm. If you had waited until after 12.00pm today, you would not have had cause for complaint.
- Issues regarding a refund - if you do decide that you wish to unsubscribe from the blog, please be aware that we can only offer a partial refund, due to the fact that you didn't actually pay us anything to read the blog in the first place. I hope you understand our position on this matter.
I would also add as a post script, that you are not the only member of our readership, as you can see from all the comments we receive, we have a large and varied following, albeit slightly mental.
CELEBRITY GOSSIP, with David, that's me!
Ashley-Lou-Marylee Chizzlesplit has recently found religion. The peppy star of popular teen musical "Popular Teen Musical 4" has split with long-term (2 month) boyfriend Rie-ann Chasterburger announcing that she is going to marry God. It promises to be a glitzy affair organised by wedding planner to the stars, Talula Wintertonterton. OK! have secured all photographic rights. Ashley-Lou-Marylee says she's happier than ever and can't wait for the wedding night. Rie-ann was unavailable to comment as he is currently promoting his "auto"biography, "My Life to Now: 19 Years of Stuff that Happened to Me", described by The Independent as "quite a nice size and shape for a book."
Here's a picture of the couple in happier times. Drawn by me, on Barry Island Beach.
And for all Lesley LaBelle fans, we received word today that she's doing very well in rehab and thanks her fans for all their continued support.
Thursday, 28 August 2008
*Handy Hint of the Day*
If you are eating a jam sandwich, and you have some peanut butter handy, why not add the peanut butter to your jam sandwich to make a peanut butter and jam sandwich, for a delicious treat.
Bee Beads!
Did you know, if you gather up some dead bees and thread them onto a string, you can have your very own bee bead necklace! Irresistible!
WARNING: make sure the bees are completely deceased before attempting to thread them onto a string. For more information, see your local beehive or beehusbandry centre.
WARNING: make sure the bees are completely deceased before attempting to thread them onto a string. For more information, see your local beehive or beehusbandry centre.
SEX
Now that i've got your attention, i wonder who the first person to use the "Sex: now that i've got your attention... etc..." ploy was?
It's pretty interesting, to nobody.
It's pretty interesting, to nobody.
Would you like a pet bee?
Did you know that if you freeze some bees, then tie a thread round them before they wake up you can have your very own pet bees!
The bee in the picture didn't wake up unfortunately.
*The bloggers would like to state that they do not condone the abuse of bees. For more information see your local beehive or beehusbandry centre*
The Truth About Bees
The Honey Bee is a member of a genus that dates back at least 35 million years, in fact some experts believe they have been producing honey for over 150 million years. They navigate by the sun, not only in the day but in the night. This means the Bee truly comprehended the spherical nature of the Earth long before a human bee-ing worked it out. They are also incredibly sensitive to the Earth's magnetism. In fact, placing a strong magnet underneath a beehive will disturb the geometric nature of the construction and the bees will build an odd, comb-shaped structure.
Nobody fully understands how the bee buzzes, as experiments have been undertaken with wing-clipping and spiracle stuffing, and still the bee buzzes.
Honey bees are considered to be the highest form of insect, and they are the only bee that dies after it stings you. This is because the stinger has barbs that stay in your skin to keep pumping venom; when the bee flies away it tears its exoskeleton and in most circumstances will die. The queen honey bee is, however, born without barbs so she can use her smooth stinger to kill other female bees. When a queen is born she utters a squawk; any new-born siblings respond, and the queen proceeds to find them all in the hive and kill them.
Bees like fermented apples, ie cider. If they get too drunk, guard bees will sting them to death. Stinging isn't the only form of defense though. Bees can form a buzzing vibrating sphere around an enemy, raising the interior temperature so much that the enemy inside dies. This is used to overthrow a defective queen, as well as defending the hive.
For more information visit your local beehive and beehusbandry centre.
Nobody fully understands how the bee buzzes, as experiments have been undertaken with wing-clipping and spiracle stuffing, and still the bee buzzes.
Honey bees are considered to be the highest form of insect, and they are the only bee that dies after it stings you. This is because the stinger has barbs that stay in your skin to keep pumping venom; when the bee flies away it tears its exoskeleton and in most circumstances will die. The queen honey bee is, however, born without barbs so she can use her smooth stinger to kill other female bees. When a queen is born she utters a squawk; any new-born siblings respond, and the queen proceeds to find them all in the hive and kill them.
Bees like fermented apples, ie cider. If they get too drunk, guard bees will sting them to death. Stinging isn't the only form of defense though. Bees can form a buzzing vibrating sphere around an enemy, raising the interior temperature so much that the enemy inside dies. This is used to overthrow a defective queen, as well as defending the hive.
For more information visit your local beehive and beehusbandry centre.
Coincidence...or Conspiracy?
If you click on 'random article' on wikipedia three times, and it takes you to a page with a photo of the building you're sat in, is it just a coincidence, or something more sinister...? Discuss.
SCRABBLE WORD OF THE DAY!!!
Today's best scrabble word is.......... VAG
as in 'I really like your VAG, man'
as in 'I really like your VAG, man'
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
Fact of the Day
Contrary to popular belief, the comedian Richard Herring is not an actual type of fish but a human, just like you!
*Handy Hint of the Day*
If you are having difficulty when moving a small photocopier, why not ask a friend to help?
Sick Bed News
Yesterday my throat was sore, but my friend came over and we drank wine.
Today my throat and head hurt.
Learn from my mistakes, because i certainly won't.
Today my throat and head hurt.
Learn from my mistakes, because i certainly won't.
Tuesday, 26 August 2008
SCRABBLE WORD OF THE DAY!
Todays best Scrabble word is..............................................
......................................wan, as in 'you look a bit wan today percy'.
......................................wan, as in 'you look a bit wan today percy'.
*Handy Hint of the Day*
If you accidentally hit the CAPS key when typing, you can easily change your upper case text to lower case text by highlighting the text, then pressing shift and F3.
Friday, 22 August 2008
*Handy HinT of the Day*
When typing the heading to a post on your blog, make sure you double check it before posting to avoid confusing readers.
*Handy Hing of the Day*
Before wrapping a present, always check that you are only cutting through one sheet of wrapping paper, to avoid waste.
CELEBRITY GOSSIP with David, me.
Celebrity gossip is lucrative, right? Being sued is not. Whats the answer? My new post!
Lesley LaBelle, star of Ten Things I Hate About Squirrels and Dude, where's my Colon? has checked into rehab once again. This time the "troubled" starlet is battling her addiction to processed ham. Her money-grabbing mother and crazy father are swearing they'll stick by her. Here's a picture of her that i drew.
Check back next time if i can be bothered for more news that's complete rubbish, and frankly, interesting to nobody.
Lesley LaBelle, star of Ten Things I Hate About Squirrels and Dude, where's my Colon? has checked into rehab once again. This time the "troubled" starlet is battling her addiction to processed ham. Her money-grabbing mother and crazy father are swearing they'll stick by her. Here's a picture of her that i drew.
Check back next time if i can be bothered for more news that's complete rubbish, and frankly, interesting to nobody.
Welcome
Hi and welcome to the newest and most pointless blog on the world wide interweb. Today we wonder, has Jason Statham been in any good films? Can i pretend to watch Transporter for any other reason than looking at him? How many caesarean sections can a woman have? Can there be a "jiltee"? What was Max Payne about again?
All of these things are really interesting to nobody.
Also, the photocopier has one-touch settings which was good for a few minutes.
All of these things are really interesting to nobody.
Also, the photocopier has one-touch settings which was good for a few minutes.
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